I was driving back to work this afternoon after a quick trip to the supermarket to stock up my snack drawer. As I glanced at the impending storm brewing ahead I gasped, delighted to see a cluster of loosely formed mammatus clouds grazing the edge of the storm.

The kind of rare cloud that only forms under the right, stormy conditions and looks like bubbles pressing down from the heavens. As a weather nerd, they are my absolute favourite kind of cloud, they are so fucking cool. And I’m not exaggerating when I tell you getting to see these clouds made my entire day.

It reminded me of a scene in a book I’ve just read.

The story is set in an urban fantasy world, where magical and mythical creatures co-exist among each other. The likes of angels, faeries, witches, shapeshifters and all manner of aquatic beings, who dwell in a watery court below the river that surrounds the city.

In order for those living above to send messages to those below, they have a very special messenger system: otters in little yellow jackets whose only job is to carry letters and parcels between the two sub-worlds, like tiny magical post men.

In this scene the main character reveals to her friend that these otters are her absolute favourite thing in their entire city; that she dreams of receiving a message by otter one day, and that even just getting to see one whiz by them as they stood upon the pier by the river had been the best, most heart-filling thing she had experienced in a very long time.

That’s how it felt for me to witness this cloud. To be awestruck at such a seemingly insignificant, everyday event.

Had this occurred any other time in the past two months, I’m not sure I would have had the same reaction.

I’ve rode a cycle of sadness, mourning, identity shifting and uncertainty for many weeks. A cycle that had me spinning, unable to stand and ground myself since June and has gradually built to an extended, intense crescendo over the past 4 weeks.

But yesterday I felt my energy shift. I felt a change in my entire perception of my circumstances. I felt the world stop spinning, and a weight lift off my shoulders.

Today I can marvel at the the sheer beauty and wildness of nature and weather, and remember that this is one of my favourite things about this world.

I can experience joy in something so small and let it fill me up completely.

And I can understand what a fucking privilege it is to be thrilled by the little things like clouds and otters in yellow vests.